Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal is the single most powerful entity in the entire Gigaverse without question. I know this because he told me himself.

History
Steven Seagal was born when Darksydephil became pregnant from playing too many dating sim games and this caused him to lay an egg. This egg then hatched and out popped Steven Seagal in all of his Mr. Potato head glory.

Steven then said to his father, "make me a sandwich bitch" and Darksydephil did exactly as he was told because Steven Seagal is just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool.

Childhood
Steven Seagal went to a school for gifted kids, which is a polite way of saying that he went to a school for fuckin nerds who need a good bullying session to put them in their place.

Steven was at the top of his class academically and literally every single girl at school wanted to put his sloppy schlong into their taco.

Life was going very well until he realized that he was born without a spine and that he was incapable of standing up without the help of a wheelchair so that was definitely an uber suckish moment for him.

Everything changed though, when our hero discovered a magic potion that would give him the powers he needed to make a grand slam and turn him into the greatest smack daddy this side of Florida, it was called cocaine!

He snorted the cocaine by pouring it directly on his eyes because snorting it through your nose is for pussies and busted up everyone in his whole school with his powah, because why the Hell wouldn't he?

Adulthood
As an adult