God

God is g

History
God was created in the year before-anyone-could-remember. He was created in the image of His god, Super-God, who looked very similar to a dragon fruit. Super-God fucking sucks at making gods. Good thing this article is about the one that's perfect.

Growing up, God had trouble connecting to other children in school. His therapist noted that He would frequently attempt to control His peers in various and often aggressive ways. Over in the sandbox, He would often creative massive flat disk planes for no reason whatsoever. The fact that he was a fully grown man already only added on to the deep mental pain.

At age 2 God created Earth. Despite having the brain of a child, he was able to achieve this incredible feat, especially due to the fact that all of the planets Super-God made were completely void of life and he had been trying for... No, yeah, literally forever. It took God 6 fucking days to create the earth, dinosaur bones included. And just before the 7th day came, God saw every thing he had made, and behold, it was very good. Then he took a nap lol

God sneezed on earth and made Man. He cloned that dude and made a woman. Obviously, God needed to separate His new invention from His ultimate holiness: so he threw them right in the garden and told them not to eat tha fruit that make you smartor. Those motherfuckers ate that shit and God got hella scared they'd eat the live forever fruit too, so He kicked them out of his cool garden. Nobody has ever found God's secret garden on Earth ever not even President Squidward could find it what the fuck his head is so huge he could find anything

prophet list(in order):

Noah

Abraham