Lilith

Lilith (Lance of Longinus)
Lilith is the progenitor of all human life.

In 177013 AD, (After Dominos) Lilith created a giant buttplug (named lance of laryngitis) carved from padparadscha and shoved it up his tight little boipussy (no lube). He came instantly from the prostate stimulation and his seed flooded the earth in the form of tang. The ancient reptites drank the tang and turned into humans. Unfortunately for Lilith, he developed prostate cancer and can never cum again.

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Rei Ayanami (Lilith)
.Rei Ayanami (also known as best girl) (also known as fuck you asuka fans stop calling us enlightened men reitards) is the clone of Yui Ikari and also the final form of Lilith. 13 years ago, her girlfriend Shinji (aka little bitch) started the 3rd impact because his daddy wouldn't fuck him like he loved him. Rei merged with Lilith and subsequently turned everyone into tang because that little cuck Shinji said to. But Shinji decided that he didn't like the taste of tang so he turned everyone back into humans. Rei then died and her head fell off into a lake.

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