Kangaroo Jack

Kangaroo Jack
Kangaroo Jack is an elder god from the pimp dimension and does not abide by the rules of space and time at all. His main superpower is that he's better than you at pretty much everything. No matter what, no matter who it is, when he's in their presence, he'll automatically be better than them in an instant.

Origin
Kangaroo Jack was created in the year 1492, on May the 2nd when some dude spilled grape soda on the NES game, Ninja Gaiden. Instead of cleaning it up, the man let the stains set in, until the game began to mutate and eventually became the Kangaroo Jack that we all know and tolerate.

Childhood
Kangaroo Jack was adopted by a nice lady named Mako Makanshou and her husband, Chester Cheetah and from then, he lived a pretty good life, until everything went wrong like a day later, because I was lying before and you fell for it ya little pussybag reader.

On the very next day, Kangaroo Jack's parents were killed because they were really addicted to drinking water. On the day they died, they caught water AIDS and died from a water overdose. So from then on, Kangaroo Jack was on his own and left to fend for himself.

Things weren't all bad, because it was during this time that Kangaroo Jack met his best friend of all time, The Haunted Tank. Jack and the Haunted Tank were pretty much inseparable from each other afterwards, at least until the Haunted Tank died of space AIDS in the year 2041 but that's a story for another time

Adulthood
Kangaroo Jack had finally achieved adulthood after 7777777777777777777 years of waiting and we're skipping over his teenage years because nothing interesting happened during them. If I were to tell you about his teenage years, you'd fall into such a deep sleep that doctors would list you as being in a coma and your parents would need to pay your medical bills, but you don't care, because you're selfish and only think about yourself.

It was during this time that Jack managed to gain his power of being absolutely better than you at everything. This was caused during September 11th, 2001, when my best friend from school, Osama Bin Laden, crashed airplanes into the twin towers as a prank. Originally the planes were going to be inflatable, and everyone would have a good laugh about it, but Herman pranked Osama by switching his inflatable planes with real planes and that's how the 9/11 we all know and love happened.

Kangaroo Jack was inside the Twin Towers when it happened but unlike the other victims, Jack managed to capture one of the explosions inside of a cup to create explosion juice. He then drank the explosion juice in one gulp and this caused Jack to gain his ability to always be better than everyone in an instant.

This set of events allowed Jack to walk out of the Twin Towers unharmed because he's better than everyone else and the planes respect him. It was also on 9/11 that Jack met his true love, Big Barda and this is the reason for why Jack considers 9/11 to be one of the greatest days of his life.

Currently
Kangaroo Jack lives at home with his wife Big Barda and their two children Scanty and Kneesocks. Trying to be better than Jack is seen as an impossible task among the gigaverse, although many still try, none have managed to be better than Jack at anything at all. The only person who has even come close to being better than Jack at something was the Cat in the Hat but immediately after this challenge, the Cat in the Hat spontaneously combusted in an explosion of glitter and smoked sausages so it doesn't count.