Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal is the single most powerful entity in the entire Gigaverse without question. I know this because he told me himself.

History
Steven Seagal was born when Darksydephil became pregnant from playing too many dating sim games and this caused him to lay an egg. This egg then hatched and out popped Steven Seagal in all of his Mr. Potato head glory.

Steven then said to his father, "make me a sandwich bitch" and Darksydephil did exactly as he was told because Steven Seagal is just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool.

Childhood
Steven Seagal went to a school for gifted kids, which is a polite way of saying that he went to a school for fuckin nerds who need a good bullying session to put them in their place.

Steven was at the top of his class academically and literally every single girl at school wanted to put his sloppy schlong into their taco.

Life was going very well until he realized that he was born without a spine and that he was incapable of standing up without the help of a wheelchair so that was definitely an uber suckish moment for him.

Everything changed though, when our hero discovered a magic potion that would give him the powers he needed to make a grand slam and turn him into the greatest smack daddy this side of Florida, it was called cocaine!

He snorted the cocaine by pouring it directly on his eyes because snorting it through your nose is for pussies and busted up everyone in his whole school with his powah, because why the Hell wouldn't he?

Adulthood
As an adult, Steven Seagal was the most badass guy in the world. He was so badass that both of my testicles exploded simultaneously while I was typing up this sentence and instead of crying tears of salt water, I cried tears of Surge Soda because that's just how awesome he is.

Steven went around the Gigaverse beating people up, eating pussy, blowing things up, eating pussy, forging a new future for the next generation, eating pussy, and eating pussy.

The world truly bowed before the might of Steven Seagal but unfortunately this was not meant to last.



Death
Steven Seagal eventually died in the year 1941 when his archenemy, Tomoko Kuroki, did some research and figured out his greatest weakness, JEWISH PEOPLE!

So Tomoko gathered up all of the greatest Jews in history. Steven Spielberg, Jerry Seinfeld, The Thing, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and Jesus Christ in order to form the JEWISH, BUSTER, BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!

Tomoko then used this fabled to weapon to slice Steven Seagal into several pieces and then scatter him across the Gigaverse.

Currently
There's literally nothing else to cover. Go home.